Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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