what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
