When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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