accomplished twins. life is a go
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
