problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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