hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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