i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
