he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
