I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
