after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
