His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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