i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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