if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
false alarm. still invincible.
you will always have a special place in my vag
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
