Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
