You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
you never un-have a 4some
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
