I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
As shirtless as possible
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
