Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
