what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
