There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
