'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
