It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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