It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i drank out of a bidet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You made out with two different species that night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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