she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
