Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
