HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
