EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
