today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
