i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Randomize
