i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
