That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
