i think i have two assholes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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