Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
