I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
