just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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