Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
