just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
