apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
