dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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