I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
