Say something about gay babies.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
