I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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