Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
