somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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