Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
