marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
