I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
