Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
