I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
