wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
