I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
