Plan B is the new Plan A
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
this will be a night to untag.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
